found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
