Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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