it wasn't lemon gatorade
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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