I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
