Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
