happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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