we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
