is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the condom got lost in my hair
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
