If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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