The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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