I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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