I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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