I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
