I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
