i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize