I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
