dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
