Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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