i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize