Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize