DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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