we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
