fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
