What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
