Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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