so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
