Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
