apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
