did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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