I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
