It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
false alarm. still invincible.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize