I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
