no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
