i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
