Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
