there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
