so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
