So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
