It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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