bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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