Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
