THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
