no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
