Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
