a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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