at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
