Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
