Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
