We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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