What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
