so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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