Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
