Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
