We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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