Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
