I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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