he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
