I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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