**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
