I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
