jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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