I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
